Great Expectations – Or not

Lets talk about Expectations – They are good when used in the correct way. We can use them to propel us, or to set boundaries and intentions.

It all began when we learned to use them as children to form a sense of security. We saw patterns and that is how we knew what to expect, and what to trust in. When something is inconsistent it can make you feel uneasy, which is entirely normal even as an adult.

The problem comes when we expect things that are unrealistic. This is especially true when we place expectations on other people. For instance, no one can read our minds or completely understand what and why something is bothering us. We must communicate that clearly and effectively.

When I was searching for the perfect quote for this blog post, I came across a whole lot of bad ones. Too many that said you should lower your expectations so you’re not disappointed – to those I say, if you are constantly being disappointed by the same people, one of two things is occurring – either you are not communicating effectively what it is you need in the relationship, or they just don’t care to live up to your expectations and to respect your boundaries. If it is the latter then you should seriously consider moving on.

So much of life is wasted trying to get the wrong people to love us the right way. Now, I’m not saying that everyone you date should automatically know how to love you. What I’m saying is that they should, at the very least, be open to learning and listening. They should make you feel like your feelings are relevant to them – Not too big, not drama, but a part of you.

Don’t lower your standards or expectations thinking it will save you from pain and disappointment. Keep them high and allow them to help you weed through all the ones not meant for you. When you don’t settle in life is when true magic occurs.

Much Love,

J.S. Wik